Priorities in couple relationships

by Jonathan on 09/18/2012

If you were to identify your top ten priorities in your life in order of importance, what would those be? Or, if you are filling this out as it relates to your spouse, what do you honestly believe they would list as their top ten? You could include things such as work, children, spouse, church, volunteer work, hobbies, self-care, use of social media, time spent with friends, watching television, caring for family members, school, and many others.

Now, imagine I am a fly on the wall that could observe your day to day activities, or the activities of your spouse. ?If I did this for two weeks I would get a fairly accurate feel for how priorities are handled on a daily basis. ?What would I list as the real top ten priorities based solely on my observations of your behavior or the behavior of your spouse? Be honest and list what you think my observations would be. ?It can also be helpful for you and your spouse to complete this list about each other as well

Are the lists the same? I would be surprised if they are. ?Most have good intentions and priorities are simply not reflected in the reality of stressful day to day life. ?There are just not enough hours in the day. ?However, I suggest that the behaviors most accurately reflect your properties. ?The behaviors are the priorities you decided to actually make a priority and put to action.

I try to respect that everyone is unique and has different needs. ?Assuming that to be true, one would suggest that the best priority order cannot be easily generalized. ?If the goal is simply to respect individuality, then the argument may be that there should not be a best way to prioritize. ?However, in the interest of maintaining healthy relationships, I believe there is a best way to prioritize. ?The simplest way to do this is to always put your spouse as your number one priority. ?Period.

This does not mean that your spouse gets more of your time than anything else, because work demands, parenting responsibilities, and other things may often take more of your time. ?However, research has consistently shown that people who make their spouses their number one priority are much less likely to have marital relationship problems. ?This then has a ripple effect on all involved, including children.

Source: http://www.swintoncounseling.com/priorities-couple-relationships/

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